STUCK is SUCKSSS

i m still
STUCK!!!

i m just letting myself to laugh back at me for what i m
doing
caring
thinking
worrying
dreaming
insisting
missing
loving
for these days and right now
wake up pleaseeee!!!

it's just like i can't survive without IT
*WTH* I AM!!!

CHOO HOI TING
STOP THESE!!!

i have been trying hard and keep telling myself that everything was
OVER...END...GONE...
there will be no turning point for what i had chosen and done...
no use for me to explain for what i had done...
no use for me to feel sorry for what i had done...

i won't expect for understanding
(although i was hoping)
i won't expect for forgiveness
(although i know i need it so much)
i won't expect for happiness
(although i m now trying hard to work for it)
i won't expect anything because i don't deserve and i don't dare to
i know i should not expect anything else

i should rather expect and hope that everything was going on smoothly on you
which will make the journey easier...the life happier...
with your companions all along the journey...

OK...maybe some of you are thinking i m not mature enough although i m now 20...whom should be able to handle it well...but still emo*ing all the way...whatever...it was just a way for me to dump out whatever i m thinking, i m feeling...the feeling was just suckssss if i keep on hiding in my heart...

p/s: i don't know why my blog status has not been updated on others' blog lists although the blog had been updated and i don't know how to fix it of course...anyone knows why?...